BY RUFUS WOODS on Art of Community

Last week was Transgender Awareness week. This annual, global event helps raise and center the voices and visibility of transgender people; it brings to light the myriad of issues and discrimination trans and non-binary people face. It is also a time of hope and celebration for this incredibly diverse population.

On the last day of the week, November 20th, the community holds Transgender Day of Remembrance to honor the memory of the transgender people whose lives were lost in acts of anti-transgender violence during that year. I find myself thinking about how our binary and gendered system of male or female excludes and punishes those that don’t prescribe or fit within this social construct. Being excluded, different, or othered can be dangerous.

I’ve been trying to educate myself on this issue over the past few years by considering what life is like for individuals born one gender but then realize they don’t fit that gender assignment. I’m grateful to one local couple for sharing their journey as their child explores their gender identity and expression. This friendship has helped reframe and shape how I see and experience the many nuances of gender.

They asked me to keep their real names confidential because they are adamant about protecting their child’s privacy, so I’ll call them Bob and Lindsay for the sake of this article. “We’ve always believed that gender is a spectrum (rather than binary),” Lindsay told me. But that didn’t prepare them for the day when their child started crying and said, “I have always felt more like a boy.”

That event started a challenging family journey they could have never imagined — one that began with a lot of fears and private tears by the parents. Immediately they began to methodically reach out to mental health providers and connected with other parents of transgender children.